Confessions of a codependent doggie mama
There I said it. I am a codependent doggie mama. I love my doggie, probably more than I should, and it probably meets conditions of more psychological dysfunction than mere codependency. But we won’t discuss that. After all, that’s why I pay a therapist.
My dog is having his teeth cleaned today. But since going to the vet, groomer, or anything else that involves me dropping him off and leaving him is SO traumatic, I scheduled it all into one big fun spa day. Well, if spa days involve going under anesthesia and getting an IV. Anyway, he’s getting the works- teeth cleaning, immunizations, exam, bloodwork, grooming… pretty much anything a healthy 13 year old dog needs to have done. I should be getting back a new dog.
But while he’s gone, I miss him. The space next to me is empty, and it makes me sad. Every once and a while, I forget where he is, so I get up and go looking for him. After searching my house, my yard, and an instant of panic, I remembered. I seriously do not know how I will survive when he dies. But he’s healthy, so even though he’s 13, I have lots of time, right?!
I decided to look up codependency, since I can’t focus on anything but my missing dog. I didn’t like those quizzes, because talk more about HUMAN relationships, and mine is all about my dog. So here’s my own quiz. Take it and see if you have a codependent relationship with your pet.
1. You’re eating dinner and your pet wants your attention. Do you:
a.) Feed it some of your dinner.
b.) Ignore it.
c.) Try really hard to ignore it since that’s what Cesar says to do, but explain to your pet that it’s for his own good, and you’ll feed him just as soon as you’re done. Then rush through dinner so you can feed your pet.
2. You buy your pet’s treats at:
a.) A specialty pet store that allows my pet to come in and pick his own treats. Nothing but the best for my pet.
b.) What treats? Pets don’t need treats
c.) Wherever I happen to be that has something I think my pet might like
3. When you die, you’ve made provisions for your pet. They are:
a.) I’m leaving everything to my pet, of course. My trustee will take good care of my pet when I die.
b.) Are you freaking kidding me?
c.) I’m not sure my pet can live without me. My pet will be euthanized and buried with me.
4. When you are not with your pet, you feel:
a.) What kind of crazy person isn’t with their pet 24/7?
b.) I’m sure my pet is fine. I’m fine.
c.) Alone and depressed, longing for our reunion.
5. If your pet predeceases you, you will:
a.) Have it cryogenically frozen to bring back when technology allows.b.) Where’s the shovel?
c.) Have its ashes turned into a diamond that I will make into a ring so beloved is always with me.
6. You consult your pet on decisions:
a.) I have no opinion that my pet did not give me.
b.) Pets can’t make decisions.
c.) When I need the vote to swing my way. My pet shares all of my opinions.
7. How much money do you spend on your pet?
a.) Everything I own belongs to my pet.
b.) Only what I have to.
c.) I make sure my pet gets the best without going overboard.
8. What do you feed your pet?
a.) Homemade food.
b.) Whatever’s on sale.
c.) What my vet recommends.
9. Where does your pet sleep?
a.) In a specially designed pet co-sleeper.
b.) Its kennel.
c.) With me.
10. My pet is…
a.) My entire universe.b.) a pet.
c.) A good portion of my universe, but sometimes I let other things slip in, like my family.
Scoring the test:
If you scored mostly A, then you’re crazier than me. Get help right away! If you scored mostly B, you don’t deserve to own a pet. Take it back, and get something easier on your emotions, like a rock. Unless your pet is a rock. Then, good for you! If you scored mostly C, well, all C’s, then hey, we got the same score! I see no real problem here.
(Please note, this test is for fun. If you suspect that you or a loved one may have a problem with your relationship with your pet, you should seek professional help, not the blog of a lady missing her dog.)