Go back to school!!!
Or, what my day looks like when the kids are home and I’m trying to work.
9:00 Decide I should get out of bed because I’ve already wasted time I should have been working.
9:05 Wish I had stayed in bed because I’ve been “MOM!ed” approximately 1,000 times.
9:10 Take a shower.
9:30 Eat breakfast and start work.
9:35 Yell at the kids to turn the TV down.
9:37 Get up and close the door after my dog lets himself in my office. I work with the door closed. I could write an entire blog post about WHY I can only work with the door closed, but I will spare you the horror. Suffice to say the door MUST be closed.
9:40 Get up and let the dog out of my office.
9:42 Google devices that would let the dog in and out of the office so that I don’t have to keep getting up. Find nothing.
9:43 Get up and close the door because the dog has let himself back in my office.
Repeat said process until 11:53.
11:53 Get up and make myself lunch. Listen to kid whine, “but I never got any breakfast.” My answer, “fine. Have breakfast.” Kid, “how come I can’t have lunch?” Tell the dog he should be grateful we had him fixed.
12:05 Eat lunch while throwing dinner in the crockpot, thus proving that I DO actually feed my children (in case anyone from social services is reading).
12:15 Make another cup of tea and get back to work.
12:17 Close office door because dog has finally decided to grace me with his presence.
12:19 Yell at kids to turn down TV. Threaten to take it away.
12:21 Get up and let dog out of office.
12:23 Close office door because dog has decided that he doesn’t want to be with the kids anymore.
12:25 Check school website to be sure that I didn’t get the go back to school date wrong since everyone else’s kids went back today. Nope.
12:27 Answer the phone in hopes it’s one of the kids’ friends asking them to go do something. As in, leave. At the sound of start of telemarketer speech, wonder if they’ll take my kids in exchange for whatever they’re selling.
12:31 Get up and let dog out of office. Inform him that he can fit in a crockpot just as easily as my roast.
12:33 Close door when dog returns.
Repeat until work is done.
Here is what my schedule will look like when the kids go back to school:
8:00 Get up and get kids off to school.
8:30 Eat breakfast, exercise, and take a shower.
12:00 Have lunch, let the dog out, think about dinner (start if needed).
12:15 Back to work.
3:30 Welcome my children home, and if all is properly aligned in the universe, finish work.
One more day, people, I can do this for one more day…